


dreamland

by matthwatson



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Brotherly Affection, Hurt/Comfort, Other, the age regression is kinda vague, this is mostly caretaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:55:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23982667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matthwatson/pseuds/matthwatson
Summary: when work gets too stressful for him, carson decides to calm down the only way he knows how.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	dreamland

**Author's Note:**

> based on my own experiences w/ age regression, though not as accurate as i hoped it would be (but i cant be fucked to re-write all of it, so enjoy anyways)
> 
> title is based on dreamland by glass animals

carson hadn't meant for his brother to find him like this; on his bed, sobbing, trembling, knees held close to his chest, barely able to breathe from how intense his crying was & felt. really, he hadn't intended to end up like this in the first place, but after having the video he'd been desperately trying to work on get corrupted multiple times it was a whole lot harder not to let it get to him; he just wanted to get it done, but life clearly wasn't on his side, and before he could stop himself he began to feel himself slipping into a state of mind that hadn't come around since he was a teen - something he thought he grew out of.

and as much as he wished his brother hadn't come in at all, the smaller & more vulnerable he began to feel, the more he was grateful he had anyone with him at all.

"jesus, 'car, what's wrong?" jackson asked gently, quickly walking over to the bed from his previous place at the doorframe, and moved the laptop that the younger had in front of him to sit beside him instead, "talk to me."

"i-it's..." carson spoke hoarsely, voice strained and broken. it was hard to talk, hard to do anything at all really, not when he barely even felt like himself anymore. almost all at once, it became difficult to get across his thoughts, his feelings, almost excessively. it was unbearable, and entirely his own fault, if only he could just cope like an adult and not be so stupid-

"it's what?" jackson interrupted his thoughts, looking down at his teary-eyed sibling, extending an arm to wrap around his shoulder and hold him close, "did something happen?"

of course, something had happened, if only he could just tell his brother exactly what it was. if only his only option wasn't just giving his older brother a pathetic, miserable look; tilting his head up, carson finally met his brother's gaze, eyes glossy & puffy with tears, a glint of something familiar to the both of them in them, something jackson recognised in an instant that caused realisation to wash away his concerned expression (though it still remained, vaguely).

it was supposedly the job of the eldest sibling in a trio of brothers to take care of the youngest, yet jackson - the middle child - had always been there to care for carson. not to say harrison didn't try and take care of him, but being much older than the youngest meant the time he got to spend with carson was very slim, especially when it came to their school years. 

that was where jackson stepped in, and when the stress of school began to become overwhelming for carson, episodes occurred, and jackson would always be there to help. when the sobbing, hyper-ventilating & trembling became too scary to cope with alone, he would always be there to make everything feel okay again, and when it got too bad that _this_ happened, jackson would still stay by his side and give him everything he needed to feel okay again. 

hopefully, nothing had changed since then.

"are...you uh, y'know?" jackson's voice trailed off, his gaze falling to his lap as if he was suddenly overcome at the prospect of this happening again. though he knew his brother hadn't intended it, carson couldn't help but feel slightly hurt at that thought, but for his own sake he tried to push it down and simply nodded in response, still sniffling, excess tears dripping down his flushed cheeks.

jackson uttered a simple 'oh', and for a split second carson thought he might just leave, till he was soon being gently moved into the older sibling's lap, one arm around his waist while the other was busy rubbing the younger's back - just like jackson always used to do, like it hadn't been years since they'd done this. just like normal.

"it's okay, 'car, just relax," jackson cooed softly, continuing to rub small circles on carson's back as the younger let the tension release from his limbs and allowed himself to relax against his brother's body, head resting in the crook of his neck, eyes fluttering closed as his sobs & trembles died down into nothing. allowing himself to relax, to be small, was something he typically avoided from being embarrassed of using such a thing to cope. yet, right now, there was no shame of any kind; just pure happiness, peaceful knowing he was being taken care of.

over time, carson's heartbeat began to slow as his stress levels fell along with it, and along with the movements of jackson's hand and the sweet, comforting words he was whispering into his ear, he began to feel himself be slowly lulled into sleep. not before he was taken out of it unwillingly by jackson tapping his back with one finger, earning a groggy whine in response from the youngest who opened his now-heavy eyelids to look up at jackson from his place on his shoulder.

"you want me to get you anything?" jackson asked quietly, brushing a strand of wavy brown hair from his brother's face with a gentle finger. still not feeling up to talking, carson nodded his head slowly in response, "what can i get you? water? milk?"

carson lazily help up two fingers, hoping jackson got what he meant by the gesture, and thankfully for him he seemed to understand after a nod of his head. the older then gently set carson aside, pressing a soft kiss to his forehead before leaving the room to get the drink. now alone, carson slowly rose to his feet and stumbled over to his dresser to retrieve an oversized jumper and sweatpants that would be a whole lot cosier to nap in than some uncomfortable jeans and a t-shirt.

after changing into the new clothes - with the sweatshirt being one he typically wore for comfort when these things happened as a teen - he rummaged around a little more to fish out a small frog plush he'd kept with him since he was a young child, one that was given to him by his mother, before making his way back to bed and getting under the covers to wait for his brother - who soon appeared a little while later, a cup of warm milk in his hands.

"here," jackson murmured softly as he set down the cup on carson's bedside drawer, sitting down next to him on the edge of the bed, looking down at him with an expression that could only be described as loving & gentle, "i hope this is what you wanted, at least. it's kinda hard when you don't...y'know.." he gestured towards his mouth, though a look of regret instantly washed over his face as he noticed a flicker of hurt appear in carson's hazel irises, gaze falling to the pillow next to him.

_maybe he really was just a burden to his brother._

"i-i didn't mean it like that," jackson blurted out, scooting closer to carson to rest a gentle hand on his shoulder, "please don't take it the wrong way. i-i'm really sorry."

"i-it's..okay," carson mumbled quietly, voice still slightly hoarse from crying, bringing his gaze back up to look at his brother. though the hurt still remained in the depths of his more intrusive, mean thoughts, he pushed it away with a small smile towards the older. jackson seemed a little more relieved by that - as well as slightly taken aback that carson had managed to speak at all - and returned the smile, picking the cup back up to hand it to his brother who drank small sips of the warm, milky liquid, frog clutched in the space between his waist and elbow.

it was soothing, calming as the contents warmed up his parched throat & body and relaxed him even more so, as well as pushing him further into his current state of mind. pretty soon, the milk was finished, leaving him with a nice warm feeling in his stomach that lulled him further into exhaustion that jackson quickly took notice of.

the older took the cup from his grip, setting it aside, and helped pull the covers further up carson's body as the younger began to get himself comfortable. "you want me to stay?" jackson asked quietly, bringing his hand up to stroke carson's hair in slow, smooth strokes. carson nodded, nuzzling his head up in the direction of the contact as he let his eyes close and his body relax, clutching the frog plush tighter to his chest; feeling the stress & anger that his work had brought him wash away with each stroke, bringing him further into a deep, comforting sleep.

and that night, he slept better than he had for a while.


End file.
